It’s been long time since my last posting. And there’s been too much things going on lately – which I haven’t yet digested-. But now, just when everything seemed to brighten just a little bit, and just when my soul was filled again with confidence to face a new stressful period, an annoying thing happened… for the 3rd time!!: the External Hard Drive is broken.

It is the least dramatic thing that’s happened these days, I know, but I’d rather give some time to feelings to settle down before I express them. Another of the most shallow “dramas” these days has been the rejection of my latest short in several festivals to where I’ve spent a big deal of money on (some of the causes of my horrible economic situation now). This has increased my frustration as an independent filmmaker (would they ever weight up the material they receive beyond mere appearances?). For me £20 is like what for 20th Century Fox is -perhaps- £6000. And the funny thing is that I’ve sent it to festivals of the kind of “The Corner between 42nd Street and 5th Avenue Film Festival” (an extreme example that simplifies the level I’m aiming for right now)

The biggest drama, in any case, to an average man like me, is not the material fact of an object that breaks 9 months before the warranty expires, but the size and the value of the material he’s been storing for months with all the trust on a diabolic inanimate being… being this -as part of an average filmmaker- all the un-storable number of media files he has to work with and leave in a single location because of the impossibility of making a back-up… Yes; my University Final Video Project has completely vanished, along with my latest edited works, which are due to be ready in 2 or 3 weeks. THAT, indeed, is the drama I am talking about…

And now the dilema: “to store or not to store”… A being like me, obsessed with memories – fed with them in the latest dark weeks to overcome a more realistic drama- has to face the future with nothing to work with. What shall I do? Shall I keep trying? Getting another lifeless electronic good to store what my mind in unable to cope with? In the past this has meant the loss of other appreciated pieces I cannot even gather on a showreel because their quality is ludicrous. I have lost the editing files of shorts such as Mummy, I want some more, Popcorn or Mimesis, thanks to either my inability of affording an appropriate external hard drive (that would cost 2 or 3 times more than the one I acquired) or because I am completely jinxed with this type of technology.

There it lies, still blinking with that satanic blue light, making that horrid noise that confirms he is no longer a confidant to count with…